SUNDAY!  Did you go to church this morning?  WE DIDN'T!  Why would we?  They don't really welcome Jewish Buddhists - or us either!  Anyway, why would we get up early, shower, put on fancy clothes and drive miles to sit on wooden benches to hear some guy babble about our sins.  Trust us - we know what our sins are and REALLY enjoyed all of them!  Besides, there are plenty of online churches we can attend right here on the internet - like "PornTube.com."

Folks, this was a weird, weird weekend.  It started yesterday  (technically, weekends start on Thursday because that's Friday Eve, but we digress) with wooden pink elephants rolling down the street in front of our trailer.  They were soon followed by teenagers carrying giant bunches of ballons.  Seriously - and we weren't even drinking yet - but we started after that!  Oh, did we mention that we live on a dead end street?  Where were these crazies coming from and going to?  

Next came the drumming.  We couldn't figure out where it was coming from, but it just grew louder and louder.  Later, when we stole our neighbor's newspaper, we found out there were free Peruvian Drum lessons being offered - AND WE MISSED THEM!  After that disappointment  we headed down to Palm Canyon Drive (yup, "the" Palm Canyon Drive, baby) and began drinking heavily.  The night ended in a blur, but the police reports and photos (which were seized as "evidence" by law enforcement) indicate we had a GREAT time.  Church?  We'd rather atone for our sins with a cold Budweiser!...

      
                     What the F_ck is going on here?                             They walked by too fast to hit the balloons with our BB gun!

      
    How could we have missed this GREAT opportunity?                     This was just before the police were called!