THURSDAY!  Are you kidding?  It's Friday Eve already?  WHOOOPI - the weekend is finally here!  We can start drinking more heavily and you all can just start drinking (after you get home from that job you love and that boss you admire so much).  See, we don't have jobs and haven't for a long time.  The last time we were gainfully employed the bastards in charge canned us when our parole officer kept showing up to check on us and told 'em we were charged with "crimes against nature."  It was actually fine with us because we'd worked there long enough (one pay cycle) to get our new Social Security numbers established as "tax-paying citizens" so now we get even more checks from the county every month.

Speaking of county assistance (we were), Kevin went to the Free Clinic again today to have his elbow recovery checked out.  Remember?  It was swollen up like a grapefruit do to some sort of "repetitive motion injury."  Anyway, today at the clinic it was a whole new ballgame!  Our old doctor was gone (turns out he was "playing doctor" with the nurses) `and there was a new one in his place with a name like Dr. Rajamannipunnjabi.  Nice guy, nice turban, but he could've cared less about Kevin's elbow.  He spent most of the time talking Kevin (easy sell) into participating in a clinical trial for some urinary tract medicine.  The good news is that it pays $20 bucks a week and the pills are free.  The bad news is that we have to spend the $20 on Viagra because guess what the side effect is? 

Odds are we'll just toss the trial pills (or sell 'em as generic Oxycodone to some unsuspecting crackhead), pocket the $20 a week (eight weeks, baby!) and lie on the "patient observation" forms we're supposed to fill out.  Now don't be mistaken - there's nothing wrong with a little Viagra or Cialis now and then for sports purposes - but why waste it by using it when you actually need it?  Folks, this is how your heart medication, or your liver pills, or your whatever sh_t got through the FDA approval process.  Makes you wanna look twice at taking 'em, doesn't it?  Think about it.  Do you wanna take drugs that were tested on people like Kevin, or do you wanna just come out and drink beer with us?  Decisions, decisions and guess what we decided?...

                         
                         He looked like a good doctor!                                         Kevin signed on for the urinary tract clinical trial!

      
    Guess what these are cross-sections of?  OH YEAH!                         We're just gonna lie on all this paperwork!