BLURRRRR!  Okay, we got all your emails, we got all your phone calls and we got all your God damned post cards and letters.  We could tell you something like the f'ing electric company dug up our street and cut through our internet connection (TRUE), or we could tell you our computer got some stupid virus and crashed (TRUE) or we could even tell you that our website service provider upgraded their software and locked us out for a few days (TRUE AGAIN!).  Yup, we could tell you all that, but we're just not gonna do it.

Basically those are all just excuses because, as you know, we were able to post EVERYDAY on the road for months from every God forsaken place without missing a single day.  Nope - the story we're going with is that we were just tired (worn out) and drunk (face down blind).  Folks, we just needed a few days off.  Besides, our wonderful sponsor Budweiser, (the "King of Beers!") needed to get us our August check.  Don't worry, all is good, we're fine and thanks for all the messages of concern (all two of them!).  It's good to know that you care (thanks mom!).

So here's the deal.  We have a small list of good sh_t and bad sh_t  that we observed while riding around the United States.  Now you may not agree with our rating system, and you may take exception to how we grade things, but if you spend a few days (like three months' worth!) cruising the country you'll see that our list is pretty damn accurate.  Use it as a guide for planning your next vacation since you haven't got enough money to go to Europe or enough guts to trek the Himalayas - Geee, you're sorta like us!....


                                                                                              BEST ROADS
                                                        
                       Mississippi (NOT KIDDING - sh_tty public education and emergency services, but great roads!) 

                                                                 WORST ROAD SIGNS
                                                         
                   Illinois (You'd think a state that could send a guy to the White House could put up clear road signs!)

                                                                    BEST DRIVERS
                                                        
        Los Angeles, California (not the best traffic - just the best drivers - if you can drive in this, you can drive in anything!)

                                                                   WORST DRIVERS 
                                                        
                            Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (thousands of  soccer moms in minivans yelling at their kids)

                                                                 DUMBEST WAITRESS
                                                        
                              Memphis, Tennessee (quote, "...do you want that pitcher of beer in bottles or draft?")

                                                                  BEST HAPPY HOUR 
                                                         
                           New Orleans, Louisiana ($1 beers and they're 3-for-1.  You can't beat that anywhere!)

                                                                     BIGGEST RIP-OFF
                                                          
                   Canton, Ohio ($37 bucks for the Pro Football Hall of Fame and it's only bronze busts of dead guys!)

                                                                     CRAZIEST PEOPLE
                                                         
                                           Rachel, Nevada (Come on!  They live next to Area 51 in 30 year old trailers!)

                                                             BEST ALL AROUND FOLKS

                                                                                                                  
                                                                         The whole F'ing Country!  ALL OF YOU!