"ROGER HOUSTON - WE ARE GO FOR LAUNCH!"
TUESDAY! Yesterday we left San Antonio like we found it (big, green and bruised - sorta like an over ripe avocado, or an over the hill stripper) and rode to Austin - the capital of Texas. Our plan was to meet with the governor to make sure he would oppose our extradition back to California on some bogus child porn distribution charge, but he wasn't in - must of been out to lunch at one of those Texas "gentlemen's" clubs we see EVERYWHERE!
We figured if Austin didn't want us, we didn't want Austin so we headed east and called it quits somewhere south of Houston very late last night. Today though, is a different story. We fought morning rush hour traffic and paid a visit to the Johnson Space Center. Folks, you know the Riding4Beer Magical Mystery Tour (with Budweiser writing the checks as our sponsor) wouldn't be complete without us passing out 19 cent Bud Light key chains in the shadow of Mission Control and the Space Shuttle. We did learn however, that those NASA a-holes have absolutely NO sense of humor.
Look, we didn't think it was a big deal to ditch the little B.S. tram tour and wander around on our own. It's not like the f'ing stuff is secret - they show it on TV for god's sake! OH! And you'd think if launches were such a big deal they wouldn't leave the keys in the control panel next to the ignition switch. Jesus! The North Koreans shoot these things in the air every day with nuclear warheads on 'em! How can it be such an "critical national treasure?" (their words - not ours!). Anyway, after we were escorted off the property (which we as taxpayers own - along with Chrysler, GM, AIG, CitiCorp and a bunch of other bankrupt crap) we headed east and the day ended in Beaumont, Texas. We're on our way to OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI for a big weekend bash at Taylor's Pub - show up Saturday, meet us, drink your girlfriend pretty and maybe even win a new pickup truck (doubtful on the pickup truck!). In the meantime there's a Hooter's here in Beaumont and tonight we think we'll...
Kevin thought this was NASA - Hey, free porn in the room! Okay, so there is another NASA - No porn though!
The real Mission Control - eat your heart out Tom Hanks! "Houston, we have a problem" - launch sequence started!
We figured if Austin didn't want us, we didn't want Austin so we headed east and called it quits somewhere south of Houston very late last night. Today though, is a different story. We fought morning rush hour traffic and paid a visit to the Johnson Space Center. Folks, you know the Riding4Beer Magical Mystery Tour (with Budweiser writing the checks as our sponsor) wouldn't be complete without us passing out 19 cent Bud Light key chains in the shadow of Mission Control and the Space Shuttle. We did learn however, that those NASA a-holes have absolutely NO sense of humor.
Look, we didn't think it was a big deal to ditch the little B.S. tram tour and wander around on our own. It's not like the f'ing stuff is secret - they show it on TV for god's sake! OH! And you'd think if launches were such a big deal they wouldn't leave the keys in the control panel next to the ignition switch. Jesus! The North Koreans shoot these things in the air every day with nuclear warheads on 'em! How can it be such an "critical national treasure?" (their words - not ours!). Anyway, after we were escorted off the property (which we as taxpayers own - along with Chrysler, GM, AIG, CitiCorp and a bunch of other bankrupt crap) we headed east and the day ended in Beaumont, Texas. We're on our way to OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI for a big weekend bash at Taylor's Pub - show up Saturday, meet us, drink your girlfriend pretty and maybe even win a new pickup truck (doubtful on the pickup truck!). In the meantime there's a Hooter's here in Beaumont and tonight we think we'll...
Kevin thought this was NASA - Hey, free porn in the room! Okay, so there is another NASA - No porn though!
The real Mission Control - eat your heart out Tom Hanks! "Houston, we have a problem" - launch sequence started!
We need live streaming video dammit, or this is just like the Lunar landing.
You guys' could just be on a sound stage in one of those fancy smantsy sound stages in Hollywood.
Just Sayin!
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That priceless look on Stacy's face could mean only one thing, She has been caught with her hand in a strange NASA zi..ah..er..mm cookie jar!
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I bet you your piece of AIG against my piece of GM that you two fellow world explorer colleagues manage to get in trouble in Beaumont. I predict it.
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