REMEMBER! SPOONING IN BED LEADS TO UNPROTECTED FORKING!
TUESDAY! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING! Tuesdays are supposed to be nothing days, days that don't matter, days that just waste paper on our free Snap-On Tool calender. NOT THIS TUESDAY! While we're here in New Orleans we borrowed (without him knowing) a car from a friend of ours. Look, it wasn't hard. It's not like he has a "Lo-Jack" installed, or uses a steering wheel lock or even keeps track of his keys (he left 'em in the ignition when he passed out after being our designated driver). Besides, it a bullsh_t Volkswagen anyway!
Soooo, we parked it overnight here in the French Quarter after driving it until the little fuel light came on. Our plan was to wait for it to be stolen and then he'd never know we borrowed it and used up all the gas (and most of the tread on his new Big-O tires). Well it was stolen all right (NOT KIDDING), but not by common criminals - BY THE F'ING POLICE (again, NOT KIDDING!). It turns out that we parked it in some damn "tow-away" zone and left Kevin's Hustler magazine ("Turkey Baster Girls" issue) with the mailing address still on it in the back seat. Yes they towed it, yes they called our friend (potential ex-friend) and yes they told him about the magazine.
Okay, here's the deal. To keep our friendship alive we figured we'd better go to the impound lot, pay the damn fees and get his car back (and put some gas in the tank). We wouldn't do it if it was just for him, but his wife dances at one of our favorite clubs and also makes Stove-Top stuffing for breakfast that is to die for! A hundred bucks later we retrieved the vehicle from the Basin Street impound, drove it over to the club and actually had a pretty good afternoon watching his wife dance (she does this thing with her thumbs you wouldn't believe!). We even ran a scam on some tourists from Iowa and made back $60 dollars. Folks, we're only down forty bucks on the day, we had a car for joy ridin' and we told our friend that whoever stole his car must have stole Kevin's magazine too (and he believed it!). You just gotta love New Orleans...

HEY DUDE! Where's my (friend's) car? Ahhhhh, the ol' New Orleans "Tow Job!"

...and #3 - you need $100 in CASH! But, a friendship like this is worth saving!
Soooo, we parked it overnight here in the French Quarter after driving it until the little fuel light came on. Our plan was to wait for it to be stolen and then he'd never know we borrowed it and used up all the gas (and most of the tread on his new Big-O tires). Well it was stolen all right (NOT KIDDING), but not by common criminals - BY THE F'ING POLICE (again, NOT KIDDING!). It turns out that we parked it in some damn "tow-away" zone and left Kevin's Hustler magazine ("Turkey Baster Girls" issue) with the mailing address still on it in the back seat. Yes they towed it, yes they called our friend (potential ex-friend) and yes they told him about the magazine.
Okay, here's the deal. To keep our friendship alive we figured we'd better go to the impound lot, pay the damn fees and get his car back (and put some gas in the tank). We wouldn't do it if it was just for him, but his wife dances at one of our favorite clubs and also makes Stove-Top stuffing for breakfast that is to die for! A hundred bucks later we retrieved the vehicle from the Basin Street impound, drove it over to the club and actually had a pretty good afternoon watching his wife dance (she does this thing with her thumbs you wouldn't believe!). We even ran a scam on some tourists from Iowa and made back $60 dollars. Folks, we're only down forty bucks on the day, we had a car for joy ridin' and we told our friend that whoever stole his car must have stole Kevin's magazine too (and he believed it!). You just gotta love New Orleans...
HEY DUDE! Where's my (friend's) car? Ahhhhh, the ol' New Orleans "Tow Job!"
...and #3 - you need $100 in CASH! But, a friendship like this is worth saving!

You watched Jay Leno last night, didn't ya??!! :0)
Reply to this
Incredible! You're always trying to out do yesterday ya silly bastards ya. Where in the world did you two ever come from anyway? You're both definitely are not from these parts - that is for sure! But ya know what? We cannot help but love you both - despite your mental illness.
guy and cary.
Reply to this