FRIDAY - YELL IT!  Okay, whisper it and crawl away sobbing.  Were you one of those kids that always got beat up in the corner of the schoolyard?  Kevin was!  Look, we understand, these emotional scars can run deep.  Why do you think we drink so much beer?  BECAUSE IT'S FUN TO BE DRUNK AND IRRESPONSIBLE THAT'S WHY!  Come on, do ya really think we'd go in for all of that psycho babble, repressed memory, low-self esteem B.S.?  We only fake having "issues" so we can get scripts written (oxycotin ROCKS - "Hillbilly Heroin," Baby!) at the Free Clinic.

BUT WAIT!  It's Friday, which is not only the official start of the weekend, but it's also "Bike Weekend" here in Palm Springs.  That means that 10,000 motorcycle types will be roaring into town to rape and pillage.  We sooooo identify with them - especially the "pillage" part.  Grease, beer, noise, beer, leather, beer, more beer - Oh yeah, and cops, lots of cops.  We're pretty certain that we'll end up as guests of the local law enforcement community before the weekend is over, but at least the meals are free and you get 'em three times a day.  That's better than the leftover Hamburger Helper we have to fight over with our dog back at the trailer park.

Folks, it's weekends like this that we live and train for the rest of the year.  Drunken debauchery is a finely tuned skill, not just a random occurrence.  We rolled off the sofa-sleeper early today so that by noon we can be installed somewhere along Palm Canyon Drive (YEAH BABY - THE ONE & ONLY PALM CANYON DRIVE!) with our bike shiny and parked and a cold beer in both hands (that's 4 beers plus 2 more for the first out of town biker chick to give us a squeezer!).  Ready, set GO!....

               
Remember, this will be Kevin's Mug Shot!                                                      Stacy?  Yeah, this will be her's too!