WE HAD SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME WHEN WE WERE 40, BUT NOW WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
IT'S SUNDAY in downtown beautiful Helsinki, Finland. WHERE? Okay, so it's not Siberia or Mongolia, but we needed a break after the close call we had in Moscow (don't believe what they said about us on CNN - those Commie bastards had it coming!). Anyway, after a refreshing and relaxing (yeah right, the f'ing sun never sets here!) few days, we're on the move again. The 2008 Riding4Beer World Tour waits for nobody - especially the police when they have arrest warrants! We've booked passage on the overnight ferry tonight across the Baltic Sea (Google it you geography dropouts!) and should arrive sometime tomorrow in Stockholm, Sweden.
Okay, so we realize that wandering around Finland (inventors of the reindeer!) and taking a shower in Sweden (inventors of Neutrogena Face Soap!) is not quite as exciting as crossing the Siberian Plateau on a smugglers train, but we've had to work our way back to a continent! We ended up here in Scandinavia because Belarus (that's a country - COME ON, PAY ATTENTION!) wouldn't give us a transit visa out of Russia (NOT KIDDING), so this little 3,000 mile detour almost to the Arctic Circle is our only way back to Democracy (NOT KIDDING!). Anyway, we figure after a few days checking out this whole "Stockholm Syndrome" farce, and getting a "full" Swedish Body Massage (hopefully with a "happy ending" like in China!), we'll have the right papers (with the appropriate number of rubber stamps) to make it into to Germany.
We'll miss Helsinki with it's moose logo high fashion, but sometimes on the road you just have to sacrifice.
We were just getting used to spending the Euros that Budweiser wired to us and now we need to change them into Swedish Royal Kroners! Why can't everybody just use one solid strong currency - like the dollar! - oh yeah, sorry, we forgot about that whole little sub-prime loan thing. Folks, we're off to the ferry terminal and across the Baltic (although we wish we also owned Mediterranean because then we could put hotels on them and make $60 bucks every time you all passed "GO!"). Since it's an overnight trip (and we have an inside cabin with no windows directly below the "car deck" - PRIME f'ing location, baby - thank you Budweiser!) we've stocked up on Pringles, Hersey Bars and Bud Light - it should be an interesting crossing...
FOUR PICTURES TODAY - VIDEO IS STILL BEING REVIEWED BY FINNISH CENSORS!
Kevin paid a fortune to get this ad put up here! Stacy still likes internet porn better than a real Picasso!
Hansel & Gretel lived here - the wolf ran the homeowners asso. Deportation is NOT fun, but we're used to it!
Okay, so we realize that wandering around Finland (inventors of the reindeer!) and taking a shower in Sweden (inventors of Neutrogena Face Soap!) is not quite as exciting as crossing the Siberian Plateau on a smugglers train, but we've had to work our way back to a continent! We ended up here in Scandinavia because Belarus (that's a country - COME ON, PAY ATTENTION!) wouldn't give us a transit visa out of Russia (NOT KIDDING), so this little 3,000 mile detour almost to the Arctic Circle is our only way back to Democracy (NOT KIDDING!). Anyway, we figure after a few days checking out this whole "Stockholm Syndrome" farce, and getting a "full" Swedish Body Massage (hopefully with a "happy ending" like in China!), we'll have the right papers (with the appropriate number of rubber stamps) to make it into to Germany.
We'll miss Helsinki with it's moose logo high fashion, but sometimes on the road you just have to sacrifice.
We were just getting used to spending the Euros that Budweiser wired to us and now we need to change them into Swedish Royal Kroners! Why can't everybody just use one solid strong currency - like the dollar! - oh yeah, sorry, we forgot about that whole little sub-prime loan thing. Folks, we're off to the ferry terminal and across the Baltic (although we wish we also owned Mediterranean because then we could put hotels on them and make $60 bucks every time you all passed "GO!"). Since it's an overnight trip (and we have an inside cabin with no windows directly below the "car deck" - PRIME f'ing location, baby - thank you Budweiser!) we've stocked up on Pringles, Hersey Bars and Bud Light - it should be an interesting crossing...
FOUR PICTURES TODAY - VIDEO IS STILL BEING REVIEWED BY FINNISH CENSORS!
Kevin paid a fortune to get this ad put up here! Stacy still likes internet porn better than a real Picasso!
Hansel & Gretel lived here - the wolf ran the homeowners asso. Deportation is NOT fun, but we're used to it!
"From Russia with Love" has been proven to be not true! When drunks won't help drunks off the sidewalk there is no love! We thought about giving up vodka after hearing that, but we decided to have another bloody Mary and rethink that thought so after many bloodys (actually bloody Garys 3 shots)well, we are still thinking (this is a life changing decision).
Tonya & Mikey
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Don't feel too badly about being rejected by the Belarus people. They let Jim and a few other Americans into the country, but it was apparently just so the Russians could spank them.
Hope you know that in your absence, we "sold" your trailer to a homeless man. It wasn't the money - he didn't have any of that - we just want to see the looks on your faces when you come back and your place is now a hobo camp!
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You English speaking dogs! You will soon be deported out of Sweden too - just like all the other countries. What are you two silly bastards up to this weekend? We hope your finding some bars that serve Budweiser - the "King of Beers!" Have a "fruitful" weekend and remember, we cannot help but love you two.
guy and cary.
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