WEDNESDAY!  HUMP DAY!  That’s right folks, the Russians do that sort of thing too.  How do you think there got to be so many of them, cloning?  We’ve been in Moscow less than a day and we already have a pretty good idea of what’s going around here.  The men all look like gangsters (from bad late night movies), the women all look like hookers (dressed like in the book, “Whoring Around for Dummies”) and everybody speaks Russian!  We thought Ronald Regan put an end to all this Bolshevik crap back in the 80’s!

Since our visa only lets us stay here for 36 hours (we actually had to register it with the police when we got into town – NOT KIDDING!), we decided to take the subway around and see the sights.  Can you say sardine can?  Let’s just say that Chernobyl comes as no big surprise after seeing how they run their metro!  OH, and speaking of efficiency (we were!), we stood line for two hours to get train tickets outta here and there were only eight people ahead of us!  The train station bathrooms cost 50 cents and have female attendants, but on the men's side she VERY carefully observes length, girth and circumcision in addition to keeping it (the bathroom) clean.!  No wonder the Proletariat feels so oppressed by the Bourgeois.  Kevin spent $11 dollars peeing!

We wandered down the main party street in Moscow and had dinner at "the" Moscow biker bar.  Okay, they were mostly Honda riders so they weren’t “real” bikers, but one did have a Harley.  We chatted with him a bit but he wouldn’t let us photograph his Harley because he said that then Americans would steal the design like we stole the designs for the atomic bomb, Disneyland and internet porn.   We finished up the evening at the Kremlin in Red Square with some fries from McDonald’s and a cup of coffee from Starbucks (NOT KIDDING!) – isn’t capitalism GREAT…

 SORRY!  ONLY 4 PICS TODAY - COMMUNIST INTERNET UPLOADS TAKE AS LONG AS FREEDOM OVER HERE!

      
Red Square, BABY!  Where's Stalin when you need him?         You aren't checking my papers you Commie bastards!

      
Red Square Budweiser - now send us another check!                            God bless Capitalism and Ronald McDonald!