NOTHING IN OUR LIVES IS FORBIDDEN - EVEN AN ENTIRE CITY!
SUNDAY! There's nothing like a quiet Sunday in Beijing, except it's anything but QUIET! In China stuff just keeps happening around the clock and throughout the week. It makes it tough for people like us to sleep off our hangovers when there are jackhammers pounding at 5am, non-stop bus and truck horns honking and constant shouting in Chinese (why in the hell do they all speak Chinese?). Don't get us wrong, we're not complaining, we're "observing!" (we like to watch!)
Since we were actually awake, out of our horsehair bed and finished with breakfast before noon we decided that today would be a good day to visit the Forbidden City. We weren't tricked this time. Although the name sounds like a damn good strip club, it's actually an ancient historical site. For over 500 years the various emperors lived within the walls of the Forbidden City allowing nobody in except their mistresses - and man did they have allot of mistresses! Well, it does sorta make sense since in the Ming Dynasty the internet was relatively slow (we heard they only had "dial-up") and downloading porn could take awhile.
Anyway, we wandered around the Forbidden City for most of the afternoon. It covers several square miles and is literally an entire wall and moat protected city just for the emperor, his wife (who usually was a bitch and wanted him dead) and his whore mistresses (by the hundreds!). Lets just say that it was good to be emperor! Think about it! If he didn't have that gig he probably would've been changing oil at Jiffy-Lube and trolling trailer parks for a cheap squeezer on payday. Speaking of trolling, since China runs everyday around the clock, we're headed out tonight in search of more Budweiser and trolling for...
4 PICTURES TODAY - NO VIDEO, THEY FOUND THE AMATEUR PORN WE SHOT & TOOK OUR CAMCORDER!
Stacy was shocked at what was forbidden. Kevin was denied in through the "Gate of Moral Standards!"
It's a pretty big city for just a couple hundred whores! They tried to boil Kevin's sins away - it didn't work!
Since we were actually awake, out of our horsehair bed and finished with breakfast before noon we decided that today would be a good day to visit the Forbidden City. We weren't tricked this time. Although the name sounds like a damn good strip club, it's actually an ancient historical site. For over 500 years the various emperors lived within the walls of the Forbidden City allowing nobody in except their mistresses - and man did they have allot of mistresses! Well, it does sorta make sense since in the Ming Dynasty the internet was relatively slow (we heard they only had "dial-up") and downloading porn could take awhile.
Anyway, we wandered around the Forbidden City for most of the afternoon. It covers several square miles and is literally an entire wall and moat protected city just for the emperor, his wife (who usually was a bitch and wanted him dead) and his whore mistresses (by the hundreds!). Lets just say that it was good to be emperor! Think about it! If he didn't have that gig he probably would've been changing oil at Jiffy-Lube and trolling trailer parks for a cheap squeezer on payday. Speaking of trolling, since China runs everyday around the clock, we're headed out tonight in search of more Budweiser and trolling for...
4 PICTURES TODAY - NO VIDEO, THEY FOUND THE AMATEUR PORN WE SHOT & TOOK OUR CAMCORDER!
Stacy was shocked at what was forbidden. Kevin was denied in through the "Gate of Moral Standards!"
It's a pretty big city for just a couple hundred whores! They tried to boil Kevin's sins away - it didn't work!
You're both just not right - you're not all there! You are forbidden to ever go back to that city you silly bastard ya. Have a great weekend, and remember, we cannot help but love you two.
guy and cary.
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You two are off the charts with your trailer park antics!! Camcorder seized? What you mean is that you two lunatics traded your camcorder for a squeezer or two, so trade back for it. We Hope that our two decadent friends are able to escape Beijing and continue your adventure!!
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