CHINA IS LIKE AN ENTIRE COUNTRY - ONLY IT'S NOT IN AMERICA! (HUH?)
TUESDAY! You all know that normally we HATE Tuesdays because they are pretty much just the week's "Bitch." But times have changed because here on the 2008 Riding4Beer World Tour (sponsored by Budweiser - still!) everyday is a holiday. Folks, we're still in Xi'an, China because, well...er...ah....Kevin needed to go to the clinic and get some antibiotics for something he caught from his "happy ending" massage yesterday. It's actually a pretty good situation since with Chinese socialized medicine it didn't him cost anything and we've extended our stay for another $30 bucks a night at what is literally a 5-star hotel!
We bought our train tickets to Beijing for Wednesday today. That was a major experience since nobody in the entire station spoke a single word of English, French or Pig Latin. We pointed at a map (to show where we wanted to go), we drew pictures of a train (to show what compartment we wanted to sleep in) and we pointed at our watch (to show what time we wanted to leave) - NOT KIDDING - it was just like playing Pictionary and it worked like a charm! Oh yeah, and we also showed the agent some photos we took in our hotel room last night but she wouldn't come back with us. Hey, it was all in the name of international diplomacy and promoting "understanding" - damn Communists! Anyway, she called the cops on us and that was really weird because they took us to McDonalds for questioning (NOT KIDDING! - the cops are sponsored by McDonalds - SERIOUSLY!).
After we got our train tickets (and nothing more - damn it!), and then finished our questioning by the police over a Big Mac and fries, we headed to the city center because we heard that's where all the strip clubs were located. As it turns out that's where some total rip-off tourist site called the "Bell Tower" is located. That whole Ming Dynasty/10,000 year old artifact bit is nothing like what we expected - which was a couple of teenage strippers that REALLY liked Americans! But we did wander around the "Hutangs," which are back streets filled with vendors selling cheap plastic sh_t that we bought by the bagful to give to our relatives back in the states and tell 'em that it's really old. We had lunch on the street literally squatting around tables while some guy boiling God knows what served up bowlfuls for a buck a piece. We haven't come down with dysentery yet, but as a precaution we're heading out to sterilize our intestines with Budweiser and plenty of it...
FOUR PICTURES AND (OF COURSE) A VIDEO!
No more "squeezers" for Kevin without Penicillin!! We probably should've drawn a picture of our hotel!
Chinese police are sponsored by McDonalds - NOT KIDDING! A typical hutang shopping street in Xi'an
A SHORT LESSON IN EATING "ON THE STREET" FOR JUST A BUCK - CLICK THE ARROW & LEARN!
We bought our train tickets to Beijing for Wednesday today. That was a major experience since nobody in the entire station spoke a single word of English, French or Pig Latin. We pointed at a map (to show where we wanted to go), we drew pictures of a train (to show what compartment we wanted to sleep in) and we pointed at our watch (to show what time we wanted to leave) - NOT KIDDING - it was just like playing Pictionary and it worked like a charm! Oh yeah, and we also showed the agent some photos we took in our hotel room last night but she wouldn't come back with us. Hey, it was all in the name of international diplomacy and promoting "understanding" - damn Communists! Anyway, she called the cops on us and that was really weird because they took us to McDonalds for questioning (NOT KIDDING! - the cops are sponsored by McDonalds - SERIOUSLY!).
After we got our train tickets (and nothing more - damn it!), and then finished our questioning by the police over a Big Mac and fries, we headed to the city center because we heard that's where all the strip clubs were located. As it turns out that's where some total rip-off tourist site called the "Bell Tower" is located. That whole Ming Dynasty/10,000 year old artifact bit is nothing like what we expected - which was a couple of teenage strippers that REALLY liked Americans! But we did wander around the "Hutangs," which are back streets filled with vendors selling cheap plastic sh_t that we bought by the bagful to give to our relatives back in the states and tell 'em that it's really old. We had lunch on the street literally squatting around tables while some guy boiling God knows what served up bowlfuls for a buck a piece. We haven't come down with dysentery yet, but as a precaution we're heading out to sterilize our intestines with Budweiser and plenty of it...
FOUR PICTURES AND (OF COURSE) A VIDEO!
No more "squeezers" for Kevin without Penicillin!! We probably should've drawn a picture of our hotel!
Chinese police are sponsored by McDonalds - NOT KIDDING! A typical hutang shopping street in Xi'an
A SHORT LESSON IN EATING "ON THE STREET" FOR JUST A BUCK - CLICK THE ARROW & LEARN!
The coded crossed chop sticks again and your room number............Stacy you tramp!!!!!!!! Oh, and just what is that you guys are eating?? Do you even know? You just might want to ingest rubbing alcohol as preventive medicine.
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