WHAT DO PEOPLE THAT GET AIRSICK BREATHE?
WEDNESDAY - HUMPDAY - BACK IN CALIFORNIA DAY! Yesterday we flew (on super discounted bereavement tickets we got by lying to some bankrupt airline) from New Orleans back to Sacramento. It's here that we left our rental car ten days ago and today we are driving to San Francisco for our final meeting with the deposed Communists at the Russian Embassy and hopefully getting the Siberian transit visas we need for our upcoming Riding4Beer World Tour (beginning June 10 - sponsored by Budweiser). With a little luck, and the intervention of our newly retained (thank you Budweiser!) lawyer, our hearing will go well and we'll emerge with fancy paperwork in hand and funny looking rubber stamps in our passports.
Getting to Sacramento yesterday was quite an experience in itself, and if it's any indication of things to come, the Riding4Beer World Tour (June 10 - WRITE IT DOWN!) will definitely be something that you won't wanna miss! While changing planes in Houston, Kevin (winking) said loudly that he had pains in his chest and his left arm "felt funny." Since he's faked heart issues before to get "good drugs" from the free clinic, Stacy didn't take him seriously, but she still found one of those defibrillator things in the terminal and gave him a 50,000 volt shot. Let's just say that electroshock therapy separates the real heart attack victims from the fakers - Kevin? - FAKER! You should have seen the looks on people's faces when he jumped up from the floor with his shirt on fire and proclaimed, "that's nothing compared to the police tasers I've felt!"
Once we got released from airport security and on a plane to Sacramento the antics continued. First, Kevin tried to make the plane steer left by repeatedly yelling "LEFT!" into his cellphone while airborne (they always say that using a cellphone can interfere with the navigation equipment - it doesn't!). He almost cried when the flight attendant, (Ms. Bitch) took his cellphone away for the duration of the flight. Not to be outdone, Stacy went to the bathroom and "accidentally" ripped the toilet seat right out (must have been something she ate!). The other flight attendant (Ms. Bitch II) closed the bathroom for the rest of the flight and wouldn't let any of us use the one in first class. Folks, if we can have this much fun on a three hour flight just imagine what our 80 day trip around the world is gonna be like...
Stacy hit Kevin with all 50,000 volts! NEVER use a cellphone on an airplane - they take it away!
The restroom on the plane was closed for the flight! Gee - do you wonder why they closed the restroom?
Getting to Sacramento yesterday was quite an experience in itself, and if it's any indication of things to come, the Riding4Beer World Tour (June 10 - WRITE IT DOWN!) will definitely be something that you won't wanna miss! While changing planes in Houston, Kevin (winking) said loudly that he had pains in his chest and his left arm "felt funny." Since he's faked heart issues before to get "good drugs" from the free clinic, Stacy didn't take him seriously, but she still found one of those defibrillator things in the terminal and gave him a 50,000 volt shot. Let's just say that electroshock therapy separates the real heart attack victims from the fakers - Kevin? - FAKER! You should have seen the looks on people's faces when he jumped up from the floor with his shirt on fire and proclaimed, "that's nothing compared to the police tasers I've felt!"
Once we got released from airport security and on a plane to Sacramento the antics continued. First, Kevin tried to make the plane steer left by repeatedly yelling "LEFT!" into his cellphone while airborne (they always say that using a cellphone can interfere with the navigation equipment - it doesn't!). He almost cried when the flight attendant, (Ms. Bitch) took his cellphone away for the duration of the flight. Not to be outdone, Stacy went to the bathroom and "accidentally" ripped the toilet seat right out (must have been something she ate!). The other flight attendant (Ms. Bitch II) closed the bathroom for the rest of the flight and wouldn't let any of us use the one in first class. Folks, if we can have this much fun on a three hour flight just imagine what our 80 day trip around the world is gonna be like...
Stacy hit Kevin with all 50,000 volts! NEVER use a cellphone on an airplane - they take it away!
The restroom on the plane was closed for the flight! Gee - do you wonder why they closed the restroom?
Enough is enough! We have had it with you two mental cases. Allowing you both to terrorize the general public on planes and in public places is more than we can handle! You both must be immediately admitted to an institution for some rehabilatation. You're both very disturbed people, but you know what, we wished we were there right with you. Remember the old Wisconsin saying, we cannot help but love you both (even if you are are kooks!).
guy and cary.
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