SATURDAY!  You know there was a time when we were kids that Saturday mornings meant wearing our PJ's until noon, eating bowls of Frosted Flakes on the front room floor and watching Bugs Bunny cartoons on a black & white TV.  Now they mean finding our clothes from the night before all ripped and strewn everywhere in the trailer, chewing ibuprofen like Sweet-Tarts and watching the end of a pay-per-view Jenna Jamison movie in high definition wide-screen.  You know what they say, "the more things change, the more they stay the same!"

Folks, we're pretty much creatures of habit (particularly when the nun is hot and puts out! - Okay Catholics, you can hate us!) and we don't do well with change.  We read that book, "What Color is Your Parachute," and our only observation is that just because nobody complains doesn't mean that all the parachutes work!  Look, we don't read allot of books that don't have pictures and aren't published by Penthouse Forum, but once in awhile (like when its a condition of our probation) we check a few books out of the public library, skim them and then sell 'em on Ebay for beer money.

Seriously, why would anyone read a book when they can learn the same stuff from SpikeTV or VH-1?  Now we're not knocking "book-learning," it even worked for us up through the fourth grade, but we really can't remember the last time we discussed Descartes' "Hypothesis of Indefeasibility of Corporeal Motion" while sucking down Budweisers in a biker bar somewhere! (For the record, Nietzsche's "Statement of Moral Aestheticism" totally blows Descartes hypothesis anyway!).  Look, it's not that bikers don't read the works of Second Civilization Renaissance philosophers, but we just don't wanna hear about it when we're working on getting a "motel room freebie" from the off-work stripper sitting next to us.  Besides, we can't really read that well without moving our lips anyway - but then again, we usually end up paying more for that extra service...

      
Now this looks like a safe place to drink!               Here we're preparing to discuss Jean Paul Sarte & Existentialism!

      
Kevin takes a quick nap on Bourbon Street!                              After the strip club, Stacy prepared for Armageddon!