WE'D SHAKE YOUR HAND BUT WE KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN!
WEDNESDAY! - It's NO Humpday for us since we're separated by 90 miles of California's central valley. Kevin awoke (never really slept since his $39 hotel was next to an all-night video arcade!), in San Francisco while Stacy slept in a separate bed in Sacramento. She's handling paperwork from when we were run out of that city seven years ago (something about "pimping & pandering" - whatever that is!) and Kevin is representing our interests in a hearing at the Russian Embassy where we were denied transit VISA's for Siberia (something about "low moral character" due to the pimping & pandering charge!). We need those VISA's for the upcoming Riding4Beer World Tour (beginning June 10) or else we have no way out of China and into Eastern Europe. Folks, we can only eat so much Kung Pao chicken and then we need Goulash!
Anyway, the hearing went as expected. We were represented by a San Francisco lawyer from Russia that seemed to know every one of the Embassy officials, wink at them allot and talk real fast in a funny language (Russian?). In the end, they've taken our case "under advisement" and told us to come back in two weeks for our passports and their decision. In the meantime our "international" lawyer told us not to worry, asked to be paid in cash for his services and then slipped half of it to one of the Embassy folks. It's good to know that capitalism has taken root in the Soviet bloc and government documents can be bought there just like we bought our driver's licenses here at the California DMV (we had to get new ones under different names because of the unfortunate issue involving the stripper in our back seat, her pet howler monkey and the school zone where were apparently parked illegally).
With all of the legal mubo-jumbo out of the way, we met up in Sacramento this afternoon and began the Riding4Beer Farewell Tour of Relatives. This is where we drive all over the city visiting folks with which we share common DNA and talk about who we just saw and who we're seeing next. The whole idea is to give them (and us) a chance to see each other one last time so that if anything happens to any of us (them or us) during the Riding4Beer World Tour (beginning June 10 - REMEMBER!) we all can have a clear conscious and say, "and I just saw them last month..."
What do you expect for $39 night in San Francisco? They chased Kevin for a block trying to get his camera!
Kevin's dad showed him how to get HBO for free! Kevin's aunt Jackie fixed our flat - but it took over 10 minutes!
Anyway, the hearing went as expected. We were represented by a San Francisco lawyer from Russia that seemed to know every one of the Embassy officials, wink at them allot and talk real fast in a funny language (Russian?). In the end, they've taken our case "under advisement" and told us to come back in two weeks for our passports and their decision. In the meantime our "international" lawyer told us not to worry, asked to be paid in cash for his services and then slipped half of it to one of the Embassy folks. It's good to know that capitalism has taken root in the Soviet bloc and government documents can be bought there just like we bought our driver's licenses here at the California DMV (we had to get new ones under different names because of the unfortunate issue involving the stripper in our back seat, her pet howler monkey and the school zone where were apparently parked illegally).
With all of the legal mubo-jumbo out of the way, we met up in Sacramento this afternoon and began the Riding4Beer Farewell Tour of Relatives. This is where we drive all over the city visiting folks with which we share common DNA and talk about who we just saw and who we're seeing next. The whole idea is to give them (and us) a chance to see each other one last time so that if anything happens to any of us (them or us) during the Riding4Beer World Tour (beginning June 10 - REMEMBER!) we all can have a clear conscious and say, "and I just saw them last month..."
What do you expect for $39 night in San Francisco? They chased Kevin for a block trying to get his camera!
Kevin's dad showed him how to get HBO for free! Kevin's aunt Jackie fixed our flat - but it took over 10 minutes!
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves! I know the two old people in those pic's. I didn't think Kevin's dad still knew how to unlawfully use HBO. I thought the local police took care of him a long time ago.
Oh, by the way, you do know you have law enforcement officers in your family, right? Oh yeah, and this one is keeping an eye on you two! That is probably why you never show your face in Arizona or haven't since the last time you were here and arrested on "those" charges.
Sgt.#9 (your cousin)
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I never thought relatives would turn on one. I went to law school (until I was caught at it) you know, so I have connections with shysters who often help me. By the way, is your free HBO still working?
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I thought you already knew how to sample the cable shows for free! You remembered how to hot-wire cars after I taught you. Hey! This won't be shown to the public will it?
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Hey Guys,
I miss and love you guys. Haven't spoken to you both in a while, but must say the life you live is CRAZY..But you both do it the best...
Nico
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