WHEN EVERYBODY PUTS IN THEIR TWO CENTS WORTH HOW COME WE ONLY GET A PENNY FOR OUR THOUGHTS?
Okay, be honest. Did you know it's SATURDAY? What does that mean to you? Does it mean mowing the lawn, washing the car and a quick trip to Home Depot to replace your neighbor's azaleas that your dog chewed up? Are you living in a Disney movie! In our life Saturday means waking up to process servers pounding on our door, the trailer park manager hounding us for last month's rent (or a "freebie" from Stacy) and a trip to the free clinic for more of "those" pills. Definitely not a Disney flick!
Speaking of making trips to Home Depot (you) and the Free Clinic (us), Saturdays are also the day for farmers' markets and community flea markets. Palm Springs is no different than Walla Walla or Green Bay when it comes to small town capitalism like that. Sooooo, since we had to take the bus to the clinic anyway (our 86 Taurus needs a new head gasket - speaking of head....NEVER MIND!) we hopped off at every community junk sale that we saw. With Budweisers in hand we wandered among the six-packs of sweat socks being sold by Vietnam war brides, the $5 dollar sun glasses being hawked by a surfer dropouts from the seventies and of course the anorexic suntanned women in floppy straw hats selling "healing crystals." (FYI: The crystals may cure arthritis, but they don't do shit for herpes - TRUST US!).
We never buy fruits or vegetables at these markets because they are always advertised as "organic" or "pesticide free." Okay, why would anybody want "cosmetically challenged" food that was grown outside in cow dung and rotten compost when they could have nice looking stuff grown in hot houses with sterile chemical fertilizers? Besides, think about the last time you had a cold or the flu. If you tried all of that holistic mumbo-jumbo like ecinechia, zinc or green tea you probably still ended up reaching for the Nyquil (makes us sleep soooo good!), Vicks 44 (drink enough and the colors are awesome!), or Sudafed (God damn crystal meth freaks have ruined this deal for us!). So you see, the chemical ways are the best ways, and speaking of chemicals, it's that time of the day for us to start drinking C2H5OH in 12 ounce bottles by the 36-pack...
"Free range" coffee picked with "dolphin free" nets! We went on one of these, but she smelled like compost!
Based on the spelling of "fetilizer," no 3rd grade education either! UPS went ALL-OUT on their booth!
Speaking of making trips to Home Depot (you) and the Free Clinic (us), Saturdays are also the day for farmers' markets and community flea markets. Palm Springs is no different than Walla Walla or Green Bay when it comes to small town capitalism like that. Sooooo, since we had to take the bus to the clinic anyway (our 86 Taurus needs a new head gasket - speaking of head....NEVER MIND!) we hopped off at every community junk sale that we saw. With Budweisers in hand we wandered among the six-packs of sweat socks being sold by Vietnam war brides, the $5 dollar sun glasses being hawked by a surfer dropouts from the seventies and of course the anorexic suntanned women in floppy straw hats selling "healing crystals." (FYI: The crystals may cure arthritis, but they don't do shit for herpes - TRUST US!).
We never buy fruits or vegetables at these markets because they are always advertised as "organic" or "pesticide free." Okay, why would anybody want "cosmetically challenged" food that was grown outside in cow dung and rotten compost when they could have nice looking stuff grown in hot houses with sterile chemical fertilizers? Besides, think about the last time you had a cold or the flu. If you tried all of that holistic mumbo-jumbo like ecinechia, zinc or green tea you probably still ended up reaching for the Nyquil (makes us sleep soooo good!), Vicks 44 (drink enough and the colors are awesome!), or Sudafed (God damn crystal meth freaks have ruined this deal for us!). So you see, the chemical ways are the best ways, and speaking of chemicals, it's that time of the day for us to start drinking C2H5OH in 12 ounce bottles by the 36-pack...
"Free range" coffee picked with "dolphin free" nets! We went on one of these, but she smelled like compost!
Based on the spelling of "fetilizer," no 3rd grade education either! UPS went ALL-OUT on their booth!
When are they going to commit you two? We can see you have not changed one bit - the two kooks of Palm Springs. You win that award everytime. When we think you have done the best, you come up with a better one. You never cease to amaze us, but always remember, we cannot help but love you both - fruity or not.
guy and cary.
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