THURSDAY!  Oh yeah, it's Friday Eve!  The weekend has officially started - and we love things that are official - like our "official" NASCAR collector plate set, and our family size box corn dogs ("official" breakfast  of Ferris Wheel operators), but especially we love our "official" Gold Club membership at Desert Showgirls!  Do you have any idea how many nights we had to spend stuffing dollar bills in crack addicted strippers' g-strings to get that Gold Card?  Let's just say, we do it for the children!

Speaking of Gold Cards - we got the granddaddy of them all today - a CHINESE ENTRANCE AND TRANSIT VISA!  After countless forms (written in Mandarin), payment of hundreds of dollars in fees (in cash and never once did anyone strip!) and repeated trips to the Consulate of the People's Republic of China in Los Angeles, we finally called BULLSHIT!  That's right, we made a beeline for L.A., stormed into the Chinese embassy and while laying prostrate on the lobby floor (knocked there by the biggest Chinese security guard we've ever seen) asked for political asylum.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEIR FACES!  We told them that the Obma-Rama/Mrs. Clinton daily comedy hour had clarified our position on Tibet and the Dolly Lama (and Dolly Parton for that matter).  We told them that all we wanted out of life was to be in China, to drink Tsing-Tao beer, to imagine Dolly Parton in wet t-shirt contest and to...ah...well, drink more Tsing-Tao beer.  What could they say?  They dropped their opposition to our Visa request faster than Kevin dropped 3rd period algebra in 9th grade.  Folks, they're gonna let us in and may God have mercy on all of our souls.  It's Friday Eve, we've got some fancy Chinese paperwork and it's time to celebrate...

      
They weren't prepared for our political asylum request!                                    OH YEAH!  Paperwork we can't read!

      
We looked for Groman's Chinese Theater!                        Kevin got some new clothes - L.A. prices - can't beat 'em!