THURSDAY!  Palm Springs!  Seven hours clean and sober!  Okay, maybe not clean and maybe not sober, but we haven't had anything to drink in seven hours and we changed our underwear when we got home.  We cooked up a bogus line about some distant relative getting their arm caught in a wheat reaper and American Airlines gave us a "hardship" discount, so we were able to fly back from New Orleans for just the cost of the Federal air taxes.  With Mardis Gras over the cheap beer went away so there really was no reason to hang around.  Besides, Habitat for Humanity was giving us a bunch of crap about needing to the finish the house we were sleeping in for some homeless family of six, but we only half believed them.

Anyway, is it any surprise that we are both sick after a week of Mardis Gras partying?  Okay, not the mental stuff, (the personality disorders were diagnosed years ago) we mean "body stuff!"  We have fevers, chills, we're coughing up car parts - we think we either have the Bird Flu or Haunta Virus!  Funny thing is, we haven't touched a live bird in years since Kevin got drunk and cooked our toucan in the turkey fryer, and Haunta Virus? - come on, we rarely play with rodent excrement anymore.  A trip to our public health doctor was in order, and it's good news about the state license "thing" because he can prescribe narcotics again!

Folks, here's the lowdown!  BACTERIAL INFECTIONS in our lungs!  Okay, we've had bacterial infections elsewhere, if you know what we mean, but in our lungs?  We must have gotten it from a public toilet seat or something.  From now on we're both wearing condoms when we use public restrooms!  Hey, safety first, right?  Well, normally we'd be out on Palm Canyon Drive (OH YEAH - PALM CANYON DRIVE, BABY!) tonight, but since the doctor ordered us to bed we'll plan on staying in, watching a little pay-per-view porn and...

      
We said "goodbye" to our Mardis Gras friends...               And they said "goodbye" to us - (man, can this guy party!)

      
Kevin was definitely running a fever! Everything was hot!    The Dr explained everything about the Viagra overdose!