The one day that has nothing to offer - TOOOOOS Day!  Think about it - it's not the weekend, it's not Hump Day, it's not Friday Eve (Thursday) and it's not Monday Night Football.  Well, we've found a reason to actually like Tuesday - DELIVERIES!  That's right, if you plan your mail orders well you can time most of them for delivery on Tuesday and actually have a reason to stop drooling on your pillow and get off the Sealy Posturepedic.

It all starts with the Home Shopping Network.  Look, we know what you're thinking, but if you manage your finances carefully you too can afford some of the merchandise there too.    Besides, with "FlexPay" you can make easy monthly installments.  Most of Stacy's jewelry comes from HSN, as well as almost all of her doll collection and Kevin's NASCAR collector matchbox cars.  If you select ground shipping and order on a Thursday, you'll get all your stuff the following Tuesday!  Look, it took years of trial and error to figure all this out.

Next up, EBAY!  Obviously you have less control over the shippers since most are just stoned Star Trek junkies selling junk they bought at some comic book store, but always request shipment by U.S. Mail.  That way, if the timing works, you can get UPS and the Mailman at your house on the same day and neither of them are delivering "certified/signature only" letters from collection agencies.  Finally - and this is what we wait for on Tuesdays - it's BEER DAY!  That's right, mid-week is the slowest time for bars and pubs, so we get free home delivery of our 30 packs!   Now we can make it through the night and tomorrow is ... HUMPDAY!...

      
Home Shopping Network - You could have this stuff too!                           UPS racing away to beat our mailman!

      
The U.S. Postal Service come rain or shine!                                    FINALLY!  The delivery we've been waiting for!