HARD WORK NEVER KILLED ANYBODY - BUT WHY TAKE THAT CHANCE?
Nobody should have to get up at such an ungodly hour! After a GREAT Saturday night of partying until the wee hours why oh why did the clock radio alarm go off at 5:56am!!! Here's why - Stacy had to catch a plane to Monterey to visit some distant relative that claims to be her daughter. Look, there never has been a definitive DNA test done, so while for the time being we'll play along with it, in the future if these early morning trips continue there will be a court ordered exam! But wait - not only did I (Kevin) have to get up after only 3 hours sleep and drive Stacy to the airport, guess what was waiting for me when I got back home? A REPORTER!
That's right! 6:30 in the morning and there's a reporter waving a copy of the Sunday paper in my face and asking for a comment. I had no idea what he was rambling about, but it seems there was some article in the Local Section about me being convicted for committing "Lewd Acts." After calling our night school attorney down in New Orleans I threatened the biggest libal suit ever! FOR THE RECORD, I was NEVER convicted. I chased the reporter with a trash can lid all the way out of the trailer park and come Monday we'll see who has the last laugh!
Oh, the day got even better! Once I was back in our double-wide, I found that Stacy had left a list of things fix/repair/do while she was gone. The list was single spaced in 8 point type and filled an entire page! Folks, this is not how Sunday - FOOTBALL DAY - is supposed to go. First the alarm clock, then the reporter, now a list of "honey do's" - and it wasn't even 7am yet! I figured it'll be a few days until she's home, and besides I can always just tell her I didn't see the list because it must have blown off the counter and got stuck under a Hefty trash bag full of empty beer cans or something. Anyway, this was all too much for me to handle so I laid down on the couch to think it through and the rest is history. Tomorrow is Monday and that means Monday Night Football so I wonder what I'll be doing...
Nobody should ever see this on an alarm clock! BASTARDS! I was NEVER convicted!
OH! The list got destroyed by "accident!" Too much happening - I had to think things through.
That's right! 6:30 in the morning and there's a reporter waving a copy of the Sunday paper in my face and asking for a comment. I had no idea what he was rambling about, but it seems there was some article in the Local Section about me being convicted for committing "Lewd Acts." After calling our night school attorney down in New Orleans I threatened the biggest libal suit ever! FOR THE RECORD, I was NEVER convicted. I chased the reporter with a trash can lid all the way out of the trailer park and come Monday we'll see who has the last laugh!
Oh, the day got even better! Once I was back in our double-wide, I found that Stacy had left a list of things fix/repair/do while she was gone. The list was single spaced in 8 point type and filled an entire page! Folks, this is not how Sunday - FOOTBALL DAY - is supposed to go. First the alarm clock, then the reporter, now a list of "honey do's" - and it wasn't even 7am yet! I figured it'll be a few days until she's home, and besides I can always just tell her I didn't see the list because it must have blown off the counter and got stuck under a Hefty trash bag full of empty beer cans or something. Anyway, this was all too much for me to handle so I laid down on the couch to think it through and the rest is history. Tomorrow is Monday and that means Monday Night Football so I wonder what I'll be doing...
Nobody should ever see this on an alarm clock! BASTARDS! I was NEVER convicted!
OH! The list got destroyed by "accident!" Too much happening - I had to think things through.
So, what have we learned today, boys and girls? Not only did Kevin post today's entry TODAY, he got it in before 10 PM PST. Also, the entire thing was about Stacy. What can we (il)logically conclude? He's quite obviously lost without her! I think we know who the brains are in this operation. Come back soon, Stacy. We miss you, Kevin can't live (it up) without you.
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Poor Kevin. He will be so lonely with Stacy gone for a few days. She is his drinking partner and that poor man drinking without her... it is such a pitiful thought. Our hearts go out to poor Kevin. Hang in there buddy. Stacy will be back in a couple of days and you both can start slamming those 30 packs of Coors lLght again.
love,
guy and cary.
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No, no, no, you've got it all wrong Kevin. It’s guilty until proven otherwise (you’re a white guy, remember) Stop getting advice from those first year law students and hire one of those Hollywood firms. When they’re finished you’ll be having a street named after you.
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