IF YOU BUILD IT - THEY WILL COME!
An idea like this comes along only once in a lifetime! Why do you think we borrowed against our couch and TV set at Household Finance to pay for a patent! Kevin has invented a lot of useful things (tear-strip liners for underwear so you don't have to wash them, mini-microwave ovens to keep your hands warm in Winter, industrial strength "Mouthwash in a Drum," and the automobile trash compactor so you can keep your car clear of beer cans while you drive), but this new idea is literally gonna be a license to print money. Since we have the patent application pending, and our night school lawyer (actually a New Orleans Public Defender that moonlights for $50/hour) says we're protected, we're gonna let you inside the sheer genius (and demented) mind that we call, "KEVIN!"
Ok, here goes - MAYONNAISE WIPES! It's shocking in it's simplicity, yet elegant in it's execution. Imagine, rather than stuffing your hand in a slimy mayonnaise jar with a knife, you just pop out a wipe and spread it on your plain white bread. No muss, no fuss! No messy hands, no knives to wash, no gooey jar lids! Guys - THIS IS IT! It's no wonder Proctor & Gamble have already turned their underachieving Harvard mouthpieces lose on us with a temporary restraining order. Ok, fine, we won't call them "Mayonaise Wipes" (since P&G apparently owns the word, "Wipes"), we'll call them "Mayonnaise Handies," or "Mayo-Sheets," but we won't be stopped by some stupid court order in Deleware.
And the best part is yet to come! CROSS SELLING OPPORTUNITIES! Think about it - Mustard Wipes, Ketchup Wipes - there's no end to the possibilities! Imagine just wiping ketchup on your fries rather than having to pound the bottle, splatter it everywhere and then dip your fries. We're talking 21st Centruy here folks! The space program may have a come up with a few marginally good ideas (integrated circuits - big deal), but this is sooooooo ahead of NASA it's almost scary. Stay tuned because we're thinking Nobel Prize here...
Why not "wipes" with mayonnaise on them? The tedious research begins - hard science is never easy!
This is how a wipe would be used. The final test - IT WORKS! - Mustard & Ketchup wipes are next!
Ok, here goes - MAYONNAISE WIPES! It's shocking in it's simplicity, yet elegant in it's execution. Imagine, rather than stuffing your hand in a slimy mayonnaise jar with a knife, you just pop out a wipe and spread it on your plain white bread. No muss, no fuss! No messy hands, no knives to wash, no gooey jar lids! Guys - THIS IS IT! It's no wonder Proctor & Gamble have already turned their underachieving Harvard mouthpieces lose on us with a temporary restraining order. Ok, fine, we won't call them "Mayonaise Wipes" (since P&G apparently owns the word, "Wipes"), we'll call them "Mayonnaise Handies," or "Mayo-Sheets," but we won't be stopped by some stupid court order in Deleware.
And the best part is yet to come! CROSS SELLING OPPORTUNITIES! Think about it - Mustard Wipes, Ketchup Wipes - there's no end to the possibilities! Imagine just wiping ketchup on your fries rather than having to pound the bottle, splatter it everywhere and then dip your fries. We're talking 21st Centruy here folks! The space program may have a come up with a few marginally good ideas (integrated circuits - big deal), but this is sooooooo ahead of NASA it's almost scary. Stay tuned because we're thinking Nobel Prize here...
Why not "wipes" with mayonnaise on them? The tedious research begins - hard science is never easy!
This is how a wipe would be used. The final test - IT WORKS! - Mustard & Ketchup wipes are next!
Stacy-I can see where Kevins latest invention could help mankind. Just think , you won't have to worry about Kevin and sharp knives anymore. Salads would even be safe for him to eat. And Kevin I can see from the sweat on your shirt (or is that stains you missed with your Tide stick) you have been working really hard at this. Next you"ll be pulling on adult diapers and driving to NASA to show off your invention that dwarfs what the rocket scientists they currently employ have been able to come up with. Well done!!!!
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This idividual is insane, but he might be on to something here with this new invention! We are going to invest our life savings in his patent. I will send Kevin a check to join in a partnership in this patent.
You can not help but love these crazy people .
guy and cary.
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Kevin,
Finally you have an idea with some legs that may get traction from certain segments in our society. I believe you may have hit a home-run for campers and picnikers. Grab a can of these out of the cooler and slap them on sandwiches...no need for plastic cutlery!
Amazing idea!
Parlor On,
Randall
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