Okay, for the first time in about a week we weren't awakened at some ridiculous hour by some idiot pounding on our door, or using a leaf blower, or calling to tell us that Monday Night Football starts in 20 minutes and they're gonna give away our seats at Hooters if we don't make kickoff.   Look, we're simple people (with simple minds) and all we ask is that we get to wake up from our drunken stupor on our own time.  When you're dreaming about winning the Lottery you don't want to be suddenly woke up by some process server pounding on your door yelling, "I know you're home!"  Besides, of course we're home.  Any idiot can see our car parked on the front lawn.  DUH!

Speaking of, "DUH," we went to the bank today to see if the ATM really did only allow a maximum cash withdrawl every 24 hours.  Turns out it does, so we'll have to think of some other way to pay off our losing bets at the dog track tomorrow.  But anyway, here's the "DUH" part - why do they have the instructions in Braile at the drive up ATM?  Who's driving up to the machine that needs to read in Braile?  It just seems to us that probably the reason we drink so much is because when we're sober things like this don't make sense.  They don't make sense when we're drunk either, but at least then we can talk about our favorite NASCAR drivers without it ending up with us hitting each other.

Kevin had to teach tonight (I know you think we're kidding, but he really does teach college...  sometimes!) so on the way home he stopped at the grocery store (by himself) to pick up a few things.  Let's just say that he won't be allowed into a grocery store again without adult supervision.  It turns out that he was concerned about the SPAM being fresh so he began opening cans in the aisle to "taste test" them.  Okay, it makes sense that you you can see the other meats wrapped in plastic at the meat counter, so there is some logic in his defense, but the store manager didn't see it that way.  He made him pay for the SPAM, which actually worked to our advantage because then we got cash back on our ATM card so can pay up at the dog track tomorrow.  You see!  Everything always happens for a purpose - and tomorrow is the first game of the NFL regular season, and you won't believe where we're gonna watch it...

      
Somebody has to win - why not us?                                                   If you need Braile, you shouldn't be driving!

                                             
                                         SPAM Lite?  You gotta be kidding!!!!   Is nothing sacred?